You can’t control other people or how they respond to you. Do you remember the saying, “It takes two to tango.” I think we could rephrase that, “It only takes one to refuse to tangle.” If you refuse to tangle, at least you can’t be blamed for causing the problem. ![]() Note that little phrase: “As far as it depends on you.” The only person you can take care of is you. If that doesn’t work, make sure that you aren’t part of the problem. Paul’s advice in such cases is simple: Live at peace with everyone. You can find at least one person like that in every school, every business, and usually on every block. Unfortunately, she’s not the only one out there. ![]() He called her a “rageaholic.” That’s a great word to describe a very sick person. Not long ago a friend spoke about a colleague at work who yells at everyone all the time for no particular reason. Such people don’t want peace, they want to make trouble. Sometimes you are thrown in a situation at school or at work with people who are Grade A, Board-Certified, 100% Jerks! And you can’t do anything about it. Sometimes despite our best efforts, we’ll just rub people the wrong way. In a fallen world, it isn’t always possible to live at peace with everyone. Then there is the second positive statement: “If it is possible, as much as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” I like this statement because it strikes me as utterly realistic. Live so that if they are going to accuse you, they have to tell a lie to do it. The principle is: Live in such a way that no one can make an honest accusation against you. It touches how we dress and act, the way we treat others in public, it involves things like common courtesy, honesty at work, having a cheerful heart, being a team player, not being a troublemaker, a grump, a whiner, a constant complainer, or a hypochondriac. The first positive statement involves personal responsibility: “Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody”–that is, don’t give people a reason to treat you unkindly. The negative is, “Do not repay anyone evil for evil”–speaking of retaliation and seeking revenge. These verses contain a negative and two positive statements. In so doing, we will actually overcome evil with good. In fact, we are to reach out to those who have hurt by doing practical deeds of kindness to our enemies. When we’ve been done wrong, we are to live in peace with our enemies if at all possible and we are not to seek revenge. How do you respond to those people who badly mistreat you? Or to say it another way, what do you do when you’ve been done wrong? ![]() In Romans 12:17-21 Paul expands upon the Golden Rule and applies to the hardest of all hard cases. Offer them the kindness that you wish they would offer you. Give them the respect you desire for yourself. Grant them the honor that you wish they would grant to you. Speak to them as you would like to be spoken to. Treat people as you would like to be treated. It goes like this: “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you” Matthew 7:12. Jesus gave us the principle that we call the Golden Rule. You can’t always make people love you, but you can always love them back. Washington as one of the greater Americans this country has ever produced? You can’t always stop people from hating you, but you don’t have to hate them back. Is it any wonder that we remember Booker T. He expressed his credo in one powerful sentence: “I will not let any man make me lower myself by hating him.” “I will not let any man make me lower myself by hating him.” But as a Christian, he also knew that a man is not judged by what he goes through, but by how he responds to it. As a black man growing up in the segregated South, he knew more than his share about hatred, prejudice and unfair treatment. ![]() Washington, founder of the world-famous Tuskegee Institute in my home state of Alabama. This week I ran across the words of Booker T.
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